Rule the Third

The Wholly Day in the Chian life is not actually a whole day. The Chian Holy Day begins at sunset on Wednesday as measured on your nearest single star planet, and ends at sunrise on Thursday.

Due to concerns voiced by Chians living in binary systems, where this could actually last about four months, the modern Church has approved the observance of the Holy Day from 8PM Wednesday Standard Earth Time through 6AM Thursday.

The Vice Pope does not frown on such observance, although it is the wish of all true Chians to pass at least one four-month-long Wholly Day near the North or South Pole of a cheese-producing planet once in their lives.

The purpose of the Wholly Day is to extract yourself from everyday life and replenish your Good Times Quotient. All Chians must live in a state of elevated Good Times, and failure to adequately measure and improve your GTQ could result in everlasting spiritual harm.

From sunset to sunrise the Chian should seek out like-minded individuals – other Chians – and forge Good Times alliances. This can be accomplished through the telling of jokes, the watching of bad films, the drinking of Brains Dark or the playing of video games. Nonsensical conversations are strongly encouraged, such as what colour the curtains would be in a universe devoid of photons.

Discussions based upon the Exegesis or the Divine Wisdom of the CHI are important, and can be the source of huge amounts of untapped Good Times.

During the Holy Day, Chians are exempted from all sociological customs and are encouraged to shout inconsistencies at passers-by.

Failure to observe the Wholly Day will undoubtedly lead to a drastic reduction in one’s GTQ, and therefore the Church insists that Chians do not miss more than three Holy Days per calendar year. Doing so could rip massive holes in one or more of the available space/time continua.

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